Home Sweet Home

We are home now!  Discharged from the hospital today at noon.  YAY!!!


Ian took this photo today of us at the hospital just before we left.  As you can see from our smiling faces...we are happy to be going home.  

The nurse was getting on mum's nerves a little bit last night.  She was just doing her job but tried to fool her about the last time she took her pain meds, she tried to withhold them for longer periods in between.  My mum might have been on morphine but she's no idiot.
Below is the text mum sent me at midnight:


"Ok trying to fool me again, nurse bought in tylenol at 11:30 so I said I wanted 2 morphine @12 but she said no you have to wait until 12:30 because u had pills @ 10:30. They r hoping I will fall asleep but pain is just starting & I know it will be too much by the time I wake up. So determined stay awake til 12:30. Good thing I remembered u ordered pills @ 9:05 & they came @ 9:25"


So I called her and we talked together until 12:30 AM when then the nurse finally gave her the meds, which allowed her to sleep through the entire night.


We are now at home.  Mum loves her dream bedroom and will be perfect for her to recover in over the next few weeks.  We just finished dinner with Suze, Jules, Grams, Ryan and I.  We are now relaxing, overall it's been a very good day!


Over the past few days the most amazing people have sent messages and notes to us and I just want to take a moment to thank you all for your support through this.  
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!


XOXO
Happily recovering!
Keryn and family

Note from Nance....

A note from Mum, written in the hospital (yes we get internet in the room)

This photo was taken by Ian on Monday, October 24, 2011 at 11 AM.  I am hoping to be going home on Wednesday or Thursday of this week.

Recovery has been difficult but steady.  Although I feel crappy, the doctor said I look pretty good with lots of colour in my face.  I'm taking that as a good sign.

On a good note, my hair looks fantastic!!!!

Looking forward to getting home and relaxing in my newly decorated bedroom, courtesy of my sweet sister suzie and my darling cousin Julie.  And everyone in my family who helped get everything ready.

Here's hoping to a good night ahead with lots of sleep, because usually it evades me here.

Love Nance (and Keryn)

Wearing my big sister pants....

Below is a little email that my Aunt Suz sent to her sister over the weekend.  My mum thought it was a great email to receive and wanted to post it on the blog.  Here it is...enjoy:

Good Morning Lovely;

Today will be a better day Nance but you have to listen to your body and please don't over due it. I  am wearing my big sister pants today so I can tell you I want to rest,do your breathing exercises and take little walks not marathons. I have gently asked people to give you some time to rest and not visit you for a couple of days or better yet until you come home .I hope that is okay with you my little cupcake. You have to concentrate on getting better and stronger so you can come home to your dream bedroom. Remember Nance baby steps and moderation. This is the one time in our lives when less is better. Please listen to your temporary big sister today.You are my hona babe. 

I carry your heart

Love Suz

Recovery Day 3

So here we are 72 hours after surgery and although the surgery was a success, the recovery process is a bit up and down.  Mum still has an epidural in the top part of her body and when it works - it works really well.  However it hasn't been working all the time, so when the pain gets to unbearable for her the pain management team needs to come and top up the dose.  She also has a morphine pump which makes her groggy but helps keep the pain under control.  The epidural also makes her feel nauseous so she hasn't really had much food other than a bit of mushroom soup on Saturday.  The incision site is quite large (approx. 12 cm across her side, like where you would wear a belt).  I think because it was such a large tumour and because they had to remove the tumour on the lymph node as well it is more painful than a typical nephrectomy (which is when they just remove the tumour and kidney).  I made an error though in my blog and said that they took out her adrenal gland but they did not so she still has two of those, which is a good thing.  The adrenal glands help to keep your energy levels up so it's better that they didn't have to remove that (even though you have two).


Our main motivation is to help Mum get her pain under control and hopefully over the next few days we can have the epidural removed and be able to start managing her pain with other forms of medications.  We will hope to have my mum home later on this week.


Thank you for all your well wishes.  I just wish I could take all the pain away from my mum and deal with it myself but of course that isn't possible.  So we will all just do our best to make sure she is in good spirits and as comfortable as possible.


Love to all,
Keryn (and mummy)

Good News From Toronto General!

Dr. Finelli came out to see us at 5:15 PM tonight to inform us that the surgery went really well.  They were able to successfully remove the tumour, the right kidney as well as the tumour on the adrenal gland.  Mum is in recovery now and they are monitoring her until approx. 7 PM.  We will be able to see her at 7:30-8PM and can't we all can't wait.  Feeling very relieved!

In Surgery...

Just updating everyone on today so far.  We got to the hospital at 9:30 AM and we had a bit of a scare when they told us that they were not sure if we could actually do our surgery today because a patient's surgery in the morning went longer than it should have.  The good news is that we got into the OR and mum got all prepped up.  She has got an amazing surgical team working in her right now.  3 anaesthesiologists, 4 surgeons and lots of nurses.  
We all got to sit with her in the prep room and we laughed and told jokes and it was pretty calm.
We are having a quick bite to eat now and then headed back to the waiting room and we expect to hear from Dr. Finelli at approx 5 PM.  
They slotted a 7 hour time for the surgery burt Dr. Finelli said that he should start just after 2 PM and it would take about 3 hours.  I will keep you all posted.
We are in good hands and things are looking good!!!!!
Updates to follow soon.


Love Keryn and family!
XO

A Post From Nancy

Over the last few weeks my families lives and mine have been changed drastically. Imagine going for a test for a minor complaint, just an occasional ache in your side, only to discover that you have kidney cancer. I am in shock and still having a difficult time dealing with this diagnosis.

I am trying to approach my upcoming surgery and treatment with a positive outlook, trying to keep my sense of humour and surrounding myself with the most loving, caring & positive family and friends’

I know that this will be the fight of my life and these are just some of the things I am fighting for.

1.     I want to walk my daughter Keryn down the aisle and when they ask who gives this women to be married to this man. I want to proudly say “I DO”.

2.     I want to dance with my son Ryan at his wedding.

3.     I want to watch my son Ryan  hold his first born child in his arms, know the miracle of life & see the awe in his eyes.

4.     I want to watch my daughter Keryn hold her first born child in her arms, know the miracle of life & see the awe in her eyes.

5.     I want to grow old with my honey, Ian.

6.     I want to plan my Mum’s 90^th birthday party on Aug 29, 2012.

7.     I want to be standing side by side with my siblings, Richard, Wayne and Susie if something were to happen to my Mum.

8.     I want to sit with Susie & Keryn and laugh and listen to all their silly stories.

9.     I want to decorate my Christmas tree and have everyone over on Christmas Eve.

10.  I want to go and visit Julie & Leo in Florida and have a lovely holiday with them. I always feel so welcome in their home.

11.  I want to work with Jane, Robert & Sherri at MAD until we grow old and retire.

12.  I want to enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner at Wayne’s cottage or Richard’s house or the old hunting camp as long as all my family is there.

13.  I want to see Jen complete school and become the success I know she can be.

14.  I want to plan brunches, lunches, dinners and parties and share wonderfully good times with all my best friends and family.

15.  I want to sit on the floor and play with my grandchildren and watch them grow.

16.  I want to watch the sunrise and sunset on a tropical beach with my honey.

17.  I want to share a bottle of wine with Jane & Robert at their villa in Tuscany.

18.  I want to watch all the sweet wee ones , Ben, Lola, Tyler and Jada grow up.

19.  I want  to see Ryan find a great career that he loves.

20.  I want to plan a great trip to NYC & London with Keryn & Susie 

A Good Weekend!

As noted in my previous post.  Mum's surgery is scheduled for this coming Thursday.  We are all happy that this is the arm of the clinical trial that we have been chosen for and we are going into Thursday feeling positive and slightly apprehensive at the same time.  A little surgery however will not keep us down.  So let the weekend begin!

Now since finding out the news we laugh because Mum has become a "one event a day" girl.  Meaning that due to feeling sightly tired, we only plan one thing to do each day and sometimes we surpass our quota of "one event" and other times we just stick to that one thing.  Friday Mum turned into a two event chick and went to work at Thompson Gardiner with her friend Connie and then we all met up for a bite to eat at one of our favourite spots "Le Papillion" on Eastern.  We ate some good food, drank a little bit of wine and overall just enjoyed each other's company.  And we laughed...man we laughed.  A LOT!

Friday night's dinner was followed by a unusually early brunch for all of us.   Mum, Ian, myself and Glenn met at 11 AM at Joy Bistro on Queen.  Mum and Glenn have been friends for years and Glenn always jokes that he used to change my diaper and "saw my hoo hoo"...whatever that means, but it always makes me laugh.  It was great to all get together although we all decided that for future 11 AM is too early for all of us for Brunch.  I had to work a hockey game so we will ensure that all brunches in future are scheduled on non Leaf Home game days.  We all know the importance of photos and we love to take them but I guess we were all just to consumed with each other's company (or tired) that we forgot to take any.  The photo below is of Glenn and Mum at her wedding and it's one of my favourite photos of two great friends who have truly lasted the test of time.

Mum and Glenn's relationship reminds me a lot  of my relationship with my friend Michael Bonsor.  Just a great friendship that has been through some wild times (when we were all a little younger) and continues to grow throughout the years.  Even if we don't talk all the time or see each other as often as we wish, we are all able to pick up just where we left off and nothing ever really feels any different.  I love that about good friendships.  The confidence we have in them to continue no matter what.

Sunday was one of those windy fall days where you just felt like grabbing a blanket and "assuming position" on a couch somewhere and doing NOTHING.  But instead of nothing we slow cooked a roast and Suz (the best organizer in the world) helped us clean out our front closet and helped us get organized.  We even found Jenn's old polka dot coat that mum has been holding onto for years, just in case a little girl came along that could wear it.  We ended up tossing it, along with my sailor dress and a number of other old coats and jackets.  Keep, Toss, Recycle.  Suzie's mantra!  She should really have her on TV show.

Many of you might be wondering about Grandma through all this.  We did end up telling Bea on Sunday night before dinner.  We were slightly worried that the news would be too much for her to handle but really you don't get to be a strong, sharp 89 year old because you are a wuss.  Of course she was shocked and upset but is feeling pretty positive about everything.  By telling Grandma, it is just one more person to send Mum positive vibes and support her through this time.

Our domestic caring goddess Julie arrives tomorrow and we are all really looking forward to her arrival.  Yet another huge support during this time.

That's it for now.  There will be lots of time for more brunches and dinners.  Right now we are going to focus on a successful surgery and recovery.  With our immediate family we have tonnes of support at the hospital this coming week and it will be a time that Mum will be able to rest and recuperate.  We ask that any visitors wait until we are back at home and we can figure out a time for visits.  I will be sure to keep everyone up to date on how everything goes and of course if you want to get a hold of us you can contact me directly.  Hope everyone understands...I'm sure you do.

Talk soon

With lots of love and light and good thoughts.

Keryn

Surgery Scheduled!!!

The wait is over.  We have been randomized for the traditional arm of the clinical trial and we have mum's surgery booked for Thursday October 20, 2011 at noon.  We were really happy to get this news and in a way it's what we all wanted.  We have all been talking about it and there are pros and cons to both arms of the study, but we all think that it's best to get the surgery out of the way first and get this tumour out of her body.  
We are apprehensive but at the same time glad that wheels are in motion and something will happen sooner rather than later.

I will keep you all updated the more we know.

Thanks for all your support.
Keryn

Thanksgiving, Waiting and Everything in Between.

It's been a few days since my last post as there hasn't been much to say about mum's progression with our trial and our treatment.  What we have done over the past long Thanksgiving weekend is spent time with each other.  We ate turkey and enjoyed the beautiful weather than Mother Nature provided for us, we spent time with each other and just enjoyed the moments as we all know what is about to come will be an uphill battle.  One that we are all willing to fight.  It might get harder before it gets better but in my belief it will get better.

Nancy is completely A symptomatic.  Meaning, other than being tired and still feeling the effects of this devastating news....She is in no pain.  That's the crazy thing about mRCC (Metastatic Renal Cell Carcinoma) is that in some people there are no side effects.  You might feel a dull pain in your side, thinking it's just back pain that you have suffered with your whole life and that's it's probably nothing.  In talking to my mum, we both thought - we must insist that there are more tests done for this type of disease.  Don't be a martyr...go to your Doctor if you have a slight pain...get checked out...its better than the alternative.  

We are awaiting news on our surgery date.  We still haven't heard and throughout all of this I have to say...waiting is the absolute worst.  We should find out some time this week when our surgery will be scheduled should we receive the first arm of the clinical trial.  Otherwise we will at least have a date in which the oral drug sutent will start to be administered.  The internet is sometimes a scary place to google and try and figure out what is what.  Medical jargon takes over and it becomes one big confusing scary place.  So I try not to look there too often.  The one site I did find however, is a youtube video on a talk that Dr. Jennifer Knox did on Cancer Clinical Trials.  If you are interested in listening to it, you can find it here: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRoXXlyPf7M

Dr. Knox is our medical oncologist and she seemed pretty awesome the first time we met her.  She has been working with the drug Sutent that mum will take for the past 9 years.  The trail that we are in seems to be in phase III which is a good thing for us because it is a study that has been going on for a while and she seemed really knowledgeable in the drug and the reactions to it.  

In the interim, as we wait to find out all of this information, mum has gone back to work a few days here and there.  I think its good for her to try and keep her mind off things because as I mentioned earlier...waiting is the absolute worst.  As soon as I know the next course of action I will ensure that you all know as well.

I wish I had some photos to post about our past thanksgiving long weekend but we were too busy having fun and I didn't take any, and neither did Ian.  I think Jeremy took some photos so I will wait to see what he posts and will add it to our blog.

On a personal note,  I had a really wonderful surprise this weekend.  My boyfriend Paul, who has been training for work in Calgary since September 17 decided to surprise me with a visit home.  I was at work on Saturday afternoon and had a knock on my office door.  The voice (which I didn't really recognize) said "hello Ms. Gibson" and I turned around and he was standing there.  Best situational surprise EVER.  Needless to say I was thrilled...and he was home for the entire weekend including our Sunday Turkey Dinner celebration.  It was pretty awesome and exactly what I needed to get me through until he comes home on November 11.  It was most definitely the best thing that has happened to me since finding out about all this on September 20.    He wins best boyfriend of the year award in my books...which is all that really matters.

I will keep you all updated and in the loop as much as possible.  Please don't hesitate to call or email if you have any questions.  Mum has just been a superstar through all of this.  THE most positive person I know and taking every day as it comes.  Mum...if you are reading this, I love you greatly, more than I can possibly express in a stupid blog.  More than words on a page, More than anything in this world.

So I am going to end off "this stupid blog" on all things I love about my mum!

• I love that my mum always says "you are my favourite girl kid and ryan is my favourite boy kid".  She has always been even steven with her love for both of us.
• I love the way my mum had taught me that a woman always looks better with blush and some lipstick (it's true you know)
• I love that my mum knows me better than I know myself, when I'm angry or upset she always says just the right thing to make it all better
• I love that my mum is actually one of my best friends, that I can confide in about anything and there is never any judgement passed and I know that my secret is safe in her mouth.
• I love that one of my mum's favourite sayings is "Before the words leave the gates of your mouth, make sure they are true, that they needs to be said and that they don't hurt anybody".
• I love that my mum has to take inventory of what people are ordering at the table in a restaurant and she always has to go last...because god forbid, she has food envy of another's plate.
• I love that my mum put me in french immersion because she wanted me to speak more than one language and when it was time to study she couldn't pronounce spelling test words (i.e.: birds nest....Le Nid....silent D but she enunciated it anyway)
• I love that my mum always believes that the more the merrier is good because she likes all of her family around her and doesn't really ever like to be alone (neither do I)
• I love that my mum makes the most beautiful invitations, videos and overall can throw an amazing party.  I would have never been able to do Pam or Erin's shower without her.
• I love the way that my mum tells a story.  They are always funny and insightful and the best stories ever.
• I love that my mum knows everything there is to know about babies, just listening to the conversations she has had with Pam make me think she must have been a midwife or doola in previous life.
• I love that I am still 31 years old and living at home and she is totally okay with that...family comes first to her always and she is the best supporter you would ever want in your corner.
• I love that my mum always instilled in me that even though my father left that he was a good man who loved me always and never ever spoke an evil word of him even after their separation...she let me figure out my relationship with him as in unfolded.  And I love him dearly.
• I just love my mum...nothing more to say...she has always been there for me and always will be.  In my heart, in my head, in my life.  My mum doesn't even compare and I couldn't have asked for anything better.  

Don't cry mummy...what we are together is perfect and I can only wish that every daughter felt this way about their own mum.  I love you soo much.

With Love

Keryn

Early Morning and Big Day

Tomorrow is a big day.  Mum is in for Pre-Op Surgery at PMH where they will go over what will happen during the surgery, how to prepare, what to expect and they will take some tests.  Suz and Ian are going with her to make sure that all questions are answered.  The only awful thing about it is it starts at 7 AM...if anyone knows us, you'll know we don't do morning well. As I mentioned in my last post...we are waiting for our surgery date which we should find out either end of this week or early next week.  If we get chosen for surgery, the date will be scheduled as they say it's easier to cancel a surgery then to try and book one.

Sometimes I think to myself that they must have been looking at the wrong person's scans because this couldn't possibly be happening to us.  Not that I would wish this on anyone else but I am sure you all know what I mean.

The scary part about all this is that cancer seems to be everywhere.  I hear about it all the time now, perhaps it's because if I talk about it other people tell me their stories but it seems to be all I am hearing these days.  

Tomorrow is also a big day for me.  I've been back at work now since Monday and tomorrow is our D DAY.  Leafs Home Opener against Montreal Canadiens.  It's our biggest night of the year, our busiest and hopefully a lot of fun.  Tomorrow we will serve over 550 people for dinner, we will break revenue records and I guarantee my maitre D Pano will lose his cool at least 6 times before 7 PM.  But we will get through it and by 11 PM it will be all but a distant memory.

What I am looking forward to is Turkey dinner on Sunday at Wayne and Gail's house.  We are all going over to enjoy one of my favourite meals of the year.  Turnips, Sweet Potato Pie, Mashed Potatoes, Turkey and of course Pumpkin Pie!  It's the best.  Not to mention Jeremy's kids are joining us, two of the cutest kids ever.

Tonight we took some time to hang out with friends and people who make us happy.  Mainly Baby Jada, Pam's daughter who is just the sweetest wee girl.  One of the things that I have always been in awe about is the fact that Nancy knows almost everything there is to know about babies and has the most sound advice about everything parenthood related.  She's like the Cesar Milan but for babies...the baby whisperer.  I'm trying to post a video...let's hope it works.

Hope everyone has some plans for Turkey Day that include spending time with people who make them happy, friends and family.  

Go Leafs Go!

XO

K

Week 2 - Has it really only been a week?

Last week was THE hardest week I have ever had to live through.  I can't even begin to imagine how it must have felt for my mum.  The easiest way to describe it is Devastating.  

My Uncle Rick was getting married on Saturday to his lovely partner of 25 years, Linda.  I had been anticipating this day since we got the invitation in the summer.  Mainly because I knew there was a home Leaf game and I would have to work.  All summer long I said...I can't go, I'm sorry but work will be upset, I'll be letting my team down and I will just have to miss this one.  I knew my mum wanted to go and was looking forward to it all summer, I also knew that she wanted me and Ryan to be there.  Nancy's motto...the more the merrier, she likes as many people to be around as possible.  Mum gave me a bit of a hard time about it at her birthday dinner in August...but I remained insistent on working.  Well, you guessed it.  I went to that wedding.  We packed up the car(s) on Saturday morning and drove out to Tweed.  It was a gloomy day, it was damp and grey and I felt sad when I woke up but by the time we left the sun had come out, the clouds had cleared and although it was chilly out it was a perfect day.  In a way I think getting together to celebrate the good things in life was exactly what everyone needed.  The wedding was beautiful, we took lots of pictures and we danced.  Man we danced!  Even good ol' Grams got up and had a dance with her son and lent her walker to Suzie who played air guitar with it.  HIGH-LARIOUS!!!!  The whole weekend brought back a sense of normalcy with our family that we had been missing all week.  And it made me realize that it's true what someone said to me this week.  We have not changed as a family nor have we changed as people...we are still the exact same as we were before all of this entered our life...the only thing that has changed has been our situation...so we continue on being ourselves and dealing with our new situation at hand.  Here are some photos that I love form the weekend....I hope you enjoy.

Being a patient seems to be a full time job for us, specifically for mum.  Last week we were at a hospital 4 out of 5 days...and this week is more of the same.  We are constantly getting new appointments booked and things are certainly moving forward at a very fast pace.  The great thing is that our medical team don't just rely on phone calls and messages anymore.  We are in constant contact with Davina (our clinical trial program coordinator) who is a true professional, responding to every single question within moments of an email.  This week we have the following scheduled:

TUESDAY: MUGA Scan at Mount Sinai to check mum's heart.

THURSDAY: Pre-Op on Thursday at Princess Margaret.  

(This is a meeting to go over what will happen during surgery.  We don't necessarily know yet if mum will be randomized to the immediate surgery arm of the study or if surgery will be deferred until after the Sutent is given.  Right now we will actually have a surgery date booked just in case she is selected to have surgery first).

FRIDAY: Second CT Chest Scan at Princess Margaret.  

Although we don't have a surgery date yet we will be finding out very soon when it will be so at least if we do get selected for surgery first we will be able to plan for it and prepare ourselves.

Many of you have offered help in driving mum to the hospital etc but I just want to let everyone know that my work has been beyond supportive and Ian has taken a leave from his job.  Along with the rest of our family we are all good for any help this week.

More updates to come.  I hope you enjoy the blog...mum has seen it and approved the title and the background.  The one thing I would like all of you to know is that every response that you send and every email that I send out I share with my mum.  Every single word.  To be honest...being able to read the emails to her has been helpful and healing.  We sit together, either in hospital waiting rooms or recovery rooms or in the car en route to hospital and I read her every response that you send.  She hears them all.  And most all of the time we laugh.  Thank you for making us laugh!

Goodnite

With Love

Keryn