Still looking for Easy Street!

Sometimes I wonder where the heck Easy Street is?  I've looked for it on Google Maps to no avail.  I thought my family had suffered enough bad news for a while but this past week proved to test our strength once again.  


This photo below was taken on Thursday November 17th as we were waiting to pick up the chemo drugs that mum was going to start taking the following day.  We sat there after our meeting with the surgeon and medical oncologist feeling a little apprehensive but hopeful that the drugs would work just as the Dr's said they would.  A promise that mum wouldn't get sick from the drugs, a promise that this was the best form of treatment.

Mum is so cute.  We were driving home from yet another day at the hospital on Friday and she said..."how are they going to know if I don't start taking the drugs tonight....I could always start tomorrow".  I assured her that we needed to start that night and that everything was going to be okay.  And things were okay...all weekend.  She was fine, other than tired, she really didn't experience any side effects.  Suz and I both went to work on Monday and left her with Granny.  I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty detail but things on Monday weren't as peachy as we had hoped.  We took her to the emergency dept. at TGH on Tuesday morning to get the side effects and pain under control.  She complained of "the worst headache she has ever had" and they ran some tests on her head.  


What came next was probably the worst news any of us could have possibly imagined.  We were transferred to Toronto Western Hospital to the Neurological Critical Care Centre.  The blood thinners that mum was prescribed for a blood clot in her leg had caused a lesion in the back of her head to bleed.  Further MRI scans confirmed that surgery was necessary.  
The surgery went well...the Neurosurgeons were really happy with the outcome. 


Note to all...never call them neurologists - they don't like that and will always correct you, I think the difference is 7 years of brain doctor school.  Which makes me wonder...who are these people that grow up and say...I really want to be a brain doctor?  I wanted to be a ballerina or a school teacher but never did Neurosurgeon cross my mind???


The amazing thing about the human body is how quickly it can recover.  The day after surgery was not good but here we are going on day 3 post surgery and the difference in mum is outstanding.  Step by step and day by day she is getting healthier and stronger.
I am meeting with the Neurosurgeon tomorrow morning and then the physiotherapist to figure out what to expect next and when we can bring her home.  The staff at this hospital has been amazing.  These are people I would have never wanted to meet or get to know ever but in a way I am happy I have.  Sean, our emergency department nurse who came with us in the ambulance to the critical care ward, Linda our nurse in critical care from Northern Ireland, Daisy our nurse for the past few days who used to be a hairstylist and cosmetician and Nadia, who has 3 girls and is so gentle and kind.


Then there is Pam and Baby Jada, truly the best medicine.  I will always be grateful to Jada for bringing a smile back to my mum's face for the first time since we got this news and had the surgery. She is too young to know right now but I will ensure that one day she knows how much her smiling face means to me now and will always mean to me.  Thank you Pam for sharing your beautiful baby girl with us.  It's hard to really express and put into words the profound gratitude I have for you both.  Here is a photo that will be ingrained in my memory forever.

There are so many of you to thank, our living guardian angels who are so surrounding us through all of this.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for everything you do.  Delivering food to the hospital, kind notes and emails that I share with mum, encouraging words and visits, cards and flowers.  Eternally grateful.  


Finally, my family.  WOW.  Support that never waivers, and people who never leave your side.  We stood by each other and held each other up when the other was falling down.  I just  feel lucky to have a family like I do.  Suzie in her big girl pants, Jen with her calm presence, Wayne and Richard, who are really good at holding you up.  Ryan, who is just the best damn brother a girl could ever ask for.  Ian, my steppie who loves my mum so much and his daughter Melissa who has been such a huge support through this.  And Grandma who is just the cutest, kindest soul on earth.  It just doesn't get much better than this.


Here's to more positive days ahead, there will be many.


Love always 
Keryn

A Little (BIG) Bump in the road to recovery

It's amazing how fast things can change.  Life's ups and downs that can sometimes hit you hard upside the head without fully understanding the reasons why?

Last week we had our follow up appointment with the surgeon and our medical oncologist.  For the most part this meeting went very well.  We were prescribed the chemo medication sutent and found out that although the surgery went very well they did find a blood clot deep in the vein in her left leg.  To combat this and ensure that the clot did not come loose and travel to the heart they prescribed an inject-able blood thinner called Fragmin (Detaparin).  

We started both Sutent and the blood thinners on Friday and overall had a really good weekend.  Ian cooked a beautiful Roast Chicken Dinner on Saturday night and we have some visitors over.  Sunday was another good day and mum headed out for coffee and even bought herself a new leather desk chair to complete her show room.  Monday she woke up feeling tired and not quite right.  The side effects that we had been informed of really started to kick in.  They were severe and she had "the worst headache she ever had in her life".  Finally we decided that we couldn't wait any longer and took her to TGH via ambulance to see what was going on.  They re-hydrated her and gave her some medicine to help with the nausea and headache however nothing was helping.  They ordered a CT scan on her head to see why she was having such a severe headache.  

The results were a complete shock.  A tumour in the brain (back of her head near the neck) that had been bleeding.  This area of the brain is responsible for your balance, vision, speech and can often make you feel nauseous if there is a problem back there.   The next part all feels like a bit of a blur as they transferred her to the Neurological Critical Care Unit at Toronto Western Hospital to meet with a neurosurgeon.  We were unsure of exactly what to expect next.  They scheduled an MRI to better see the picture of the brain.  There they confirmed that the tumour was the size of a golf ball and had been bleeding, there is also a secondary tumour that they found on her brain (near the top of her head) but this one is quite small.  

The reason  for the bleeding in the brain is due to the blood thinners that we had been prescribed.  We are now not taking the blood thinners anymore and instead the doctors have inserted a filter (kind of like a net) in her heart to ensure that if the clot does break off it would be blocked by the filter.  

The neurosurgeon suggested that we go through with a surgery called a craniotomy as the best case scenario to remove the tumour along with the effects that it was causing.  It was really our only option in order to continue on.  This has  been a difficult decision  but one in which Nancy and our entire family agreed would be the best choice for her.  

I am happy to inform everyone that although we haven't got to see Mum yet that the surgery was successful and she is now being monitored and recovering in the step down unit before we can see her. 

The positives through all this have been that although the blood thinners caused the bleeding in the brain, and we've had to do this last minute emergency surgery at least we found the tumor when it was small enough to operate on.  Recovery of this type of surgery is not that bad either.  Probably only a few days of headaches so nothing like the major pain of the last surgery.

We are taking everyday at a time and looking forward to seeing her smiling face and getting her home soon.

Lots of love to all

Keryn and family

SOCKS!!!

Sooo....we received a parcel the other week all the way from New Zealand.  Comfort socks to keep our tootsies warm throughout the winter.  We all put them on and got the camera out and snapped some shots.  Thanks Pops!

An update...finally

It has been 4 weeks now since my surgery. Recovery is good, not as fast as  would like but I have learned to be patient. I am still very tired and have some pain & discomfort around the incision. Would love to sleep on my right side.

Today was my followup appointment with my surgeon Dr Finelli and the first with my oncologist Dr Jennifer Knox. As far as the surgery goes it was a success, no cancer in that area, but it is important to begin the drug therapy immediately to fight the secondary lesions still there. I was hoping for a little more time so that I could start the drugs feeling 100% but certainly understand the urgency and while frightened of what lies ahead, I am also anxious to start the therapy.

My way of battling this disease is to keep it in separate compartments in my mind and only deal with one at a time. I have managed to get thru the first two.

1. The diagnosis, the disbelief and coming to terms  (as best you can) with it and realizing your only option is to fight with all your heart and soul.

2. The surgery and recovery, something I never would like to experience again.

YAY!, done and behind me!

And now on to compartment 3, the drug therapy, the one that frightens me the most. I have now been made fully aware of the side effects that I could experience over the next 18 weeks and I am not looking forward to any of it. I won't share any of the unpleasant details. The side effects are very common and likely to affect more than 10 in every 100 people. My hope is that I will be one of the lucky ones who suffer the least amount of discomfort.  The drugs that I will be taking are expensive as they are still patented by the drug company.  I can think of a million other things I would rather spend $8000.00 per month on but I feel pretty lucky that I live in Canada so that this cost of covered.  I know I will get thru the next 18 weeks with the help of my amazing family that have been so supportive through this entire experience.

Wish me luck thru the next stage of my battle with this terrible disease.  

Here is a photo of us at PMH after our appointment and waiting for the meds.

Wish we could have posted something a bit more humorous or uplifting today...but we gotta be honest, there wasn't much to smile about today.  We did get some nice warm fuzzy socks from New Zealand last week to keep our tootsies warm over the winter and we had some fun taking photos of us wearing them...will post those in our next blog.

Much love.  Always.  Nancy, Keryn and family.

Getting better everyday

I am so very happy to be recovering at home. How could I not get better with so many loving, caring people here to care for me. It's like having my very own nursing team. Ian is here every morning to make my breakfast, lunch, go for a walk or drive, watch TV or just to sit quietly with me. Keryn, my sweet, sweet girl who is just here for me completely. Julie comes over in the afternoon to make a lovely dinner while Suze is busy tidying up, Grams comes down to sit with me and when  Keryn and Ryan get home we all have dinner together. Certainly a change from our hectic lives, I know it will all change but spending this time together with my family has been one of the best things to come out of all this.
I am now 12 days post surgery and I feel a little better each day. I am finding it difficult to gauge how much to do as far as physical activity on each day. On Sat. I felt great; pain under control, some energy (finally I felt like getting up) beautiful sunshine filled day. Off Ian & I went walking the apt. halls and down 5 flights of stairs, then it was into the car and off to the store then a drive to the ravine and a 20 min walk. At the time I felt fabulous....BUT the next day WHEW!! Somehow I had pulled my calf muscle and I don't know which was worse, the pain in my leg or in my side. I really had overdone it and did not move out of bed again until Monday at noon.
I was off to see my family doctor on Monday afternoon to get the staples removed (not as painful as I had anticipated). Another step completed on the road to recovery. Today I have an appointment with a massage therapist to see if that will help my leg. I am still having some trouble sleeping at night and now have some pills to try this evening. (I would love a full nights sleep; hell I would love anything more that 4 hours).
A special thanks to my cousins, Debbie and Frank who flew in from the UK for the weekend to visit. What a wonderful surprise! I wished I could have joined you all for dinner.
Many thanks to all my friends and family who have been so supportive, visiting and sending me so many positive messages each and every day. Words can not express how blessed and loved that I feel.

Love
Nancy

Sunday Dinner

On Sunday afternoon one of Keryn's co-workers arrived with a fully prepared 3 course sunday dinner for 10 people. I was so very touched my Emily's generous offer as she herself is a a cancer survivor. I have attached Emily's email to this post along with a picture of Emily, myself and Keryn.  We now plan to pay this forward to help someone else out in the future.

Thank you Emily, the food was amazing!!

Hey Keryn
I wanted to thank you for the link to your blog.  I have been checking it
every day and it is wonderful to see your sweet Mum doing so well.  I hope
she is feeling better and better every day and that you are getting enough
sleep.  
I am not sure where your mum lives or if she will be home yet, but I would
love to drop by dinner sometime this weekend to give all you starving
supporters a feed.  If I remember correctly, you are not a chefy chef type
and having a home cooked meal is great after you have been living in the
hospital.  The food there really is ass and after a while the last thing you
want to see is take out.  Please let me know if this would work for you.  I
don't need a visit or a chat, I will just provide some chow.  With pleasure.
I am healing nicely from my surgery.  
Please let me know about dinner.  I really would love to drop something off
Sat or Sun.

Emily